I have to tell you… this book is not for the faint of heart. I’m not someone you’d usually consider a bleeding-heart when it comes to my literary choices, but this book was undoubtedly gut-wrenching. You think that you’re stressed out? Try living in this main character’s shoes for a day.
Cat Rucker gets a phone call that her mother has committed suicide and is forced to come home after 10 years of exile. At the beginning of the book you REALLY want to hate this character. She’s an alcoholic, a dead-beat, and an all around miserable human. You’ll be very confused at first (if you are a sensible individual) why she can’t wake herself out of her drunken stupor and realize that her mother just killed herself. But you won’t be able to put the book down, regardless of how annoyed you are by Cat. And for good reason. Very quickly you are transported back to her dark, disturbing childhood. Coyne describes the emotional and physical abuse of her character with such vivid detail, it may be hard to sleep the night you read it. You’ll immediately understand who the real villain is in the story, and it’s not Cat Rucker.
The story actually ends up being a tale of triumph and determination. Our little heroine, against all odds, manages to put right all the wrongs that were done to her as a child. This book is definitely worth reading, just make sure you have a box of tissues at your side the whole time. You will definitely be surprised.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Ok aggressive guy
I think some of men that are looking to date might need a few helpful tips. I'm not trying to bash their pick-up tactics really, I just think that they can refine these tactics so that normal women won't go running for the hills. I'm about to dish out a healthy dose of knowledge; are you ready? WOMEN WANT TO BE COURTED. They want to think that their potential suitor is at least polite enough to be around people in public. I think some guys out there (and a few women I know if we're being honest) think that it's ok to act like a compete animal and still get dates.
For example; the street pick-up. Has this EVER worked? This is when you're walking down the street, minding your own business, and you're beckoned by a member of the opposite sex. This can be a whistle, or any variety of sexual harrassment spoken in another language. I have to wonder what goes through these people's minds when they are trying to scream down the street after you. Do they think you're going to turn around and go running into their arms, professing your undying love for them? I guess anything is possible.
Another example; the bar pick-up. There is a wide range of bar pick-ups that range from actual thoughtful conversation, to the puke-on-my-new-shoes-then-ask-for-my-number-variety. The former is obviously acceptable. The latter will most likely leave you and puke-boy in an awkward situation.
There are a few less obvious scenarios where a woman (or man) may feel like your aggressive nature is not exactly ideal for future courtship. Let me tell you a little story.... One day I went on my match.com account to see if anyone wrote to me (I still have not been on a date, thank you very much. It's only been a month. Don't judge.). I was a little bit shocked to see that a stranger decided to use the instant messaging feature on me with no prior wink or email. Not knowing how to react to such a situation, I used humor as a defense mechanism. I do that. Unfortunately this gentlemen caller digs sarcasm and asked me out. I said yes. I'm terrible under pressure. The next day he emails me and says that I need to nail down a day with him because he's SOOOO busy. I felt like I was trying to make a dentist appointment. I hate the dentist so I said I'd have to get back to him. The following week I was able to dodge his advances because I was sure I had some strain of the bubonic plague. Then the following Monday I get an email. This one was a little less pushy, so I said I'd meet him for a drink on Thursday. (Oh, another tip: try to come up with something a little more original than meeting for a drink. What about coffee? Or sheesh, whatever happened to a man taking a woman out to dinner? I digress) Wednesday rolls around and Captain Intense emails me that he will be at a bar "downtown" and I should meet him at 6:00. Confused, and a little scared, I politely emailed that I didn't realize he had plans with his friends and that we could always re-schedule. He writes back "my plans are with you". How interesting, seeing as I don't remember being asked what I'd like to do or where I'd like to go. That was actually my response. Thursday morning I get my orders. "I will be at Stone Street. If you take the 2/3 train from MSG it's a straight-shot downtown. See you around 6:30". Was this guy actually trying to bulldoze me in to a date? Not wanting him to get the wrong idea about the type of woman I am, I responded "Uh. NO."
What kind of lesson should you get from my story? Try being polite first. Maybe if you ask a man/woman what they like, then you'll find you have something in common, or maybe that they can introduce you to something new! At the end of the day, you're not going to get anywhere by being pushy. But hey, what do I know?
For example; the street pick-up. Has this EVER worked? This is when you're walking down the street, minding your own business, and you're beckoned by a member of the opposite sex. This can be a whistle, or any variety of sexual harrassment spoken in another language. I have to wonder what goes through these people's minds when they are trying to scream down the street after you. Do they think you're going to turn around and go running into their arms, professing your undying love for them? I guess anything is possible.
Another example; the bar pick-up. There is a wide range of bar pick-ups that range from actual thoughtful conversation, to the puke-on-my-new-shoes-then-ask-for-my-number-variety. The former is obviously acceptable. The latter will most likely leave you and puke-boy in an awkward situation.
There are a few less obvious scenarios where a woman (or man) may feel like your aggressive nature is not exactly ideal for future courtship. Let me tell you a little story.... One day I went on my match.com account to see if anyone wrote to me (I still have not been on a date, thank you very much. It's only been a month. Don't judge.). I was a little bit shocked to see that a stranger decided to use the instant messaging feature on me with no prior wink or email. Not knowing how to react to such a situation, I used humor as a defense mechanism. I do that. Unfortunately this gentlemen caller digs sarcasm and asked me out. I said yes. I'm terrible under pressure. The next day he emails me and says that I need to nail down a day with him because he's SOOOO busy. I felt like I was trying to make a dentist appointment. I hate the dentist so I said I'd have to get back to him. The following week I was able to dodge his advances because I was sure I had some strain of the bubonic plague. Then the following Monday I get an email. This one was a little less pushy, so I said I'd meet him for a drink on Thursday. (Oh, another tip: try to come up with something a little more original than meeting for a drink. What about coffee? Or sheesh, whatever happened to a man taking a woman out to dinner? I digress) Wednesday rolls around and Captain Intense emails me that he will be at a bar "downtown" and I should meet him at 6:00. Confused, and a little scared, I politely emailed that I didn't realize he had plans with his friends and that we could always re-schedule. He writes back "my plans are with you". How interesting, seeing as I don't remember being asked what I'd like to do or where I'd like to go. That was actually my response. Thursday morning I get my orders. "I will be at Stone Street. If you take the 2/3 train from MSG it's a straight-shot downtown. See you around 6:30". Was this guy actually trying to bulldoze me in to a date? Not wanting him to get the wrong idea about the type of woman I am, I responded "Uh. NO."
What kind of lesson should you get from my story? Try being polite first. Maybe if you ask a man/woman what they like, then you'll find you have something in common, or maybe that they can introduce you to something new! At the end of the day, you're not going to get anywhere by being pushy. But hey, what do I know?
Friday, January 30, 2009
Kings of Leon at MSG last night
Kings of Leon played to a sold out Madison Square Garden last night. Of course I was there silly! Even though I sat in the nosebleed section, the magnitude of the performance was not lost on me. Very rarely you get to go to a show where you know a band is on the verge of something epic. You've been following the band for years because you know they have the talent, but then there's that one night when they reach new heights. And all of their loyal fans are there to watch it, including you! Well that was last night.
For those of you who haven't heard, KOL plays a phenomenal live show. It's a sweaty, grimy, soulful kind of rock concert. Caleb Followill's voice is far better live than on any record. It's one of those raw, gutteral voices that makes you feel the lyrics are truly genuine. (Did someone break your heart, sweet Caleb? I know many ways I can console you.) All of the Followill boys possess a talent we fans can only dream of. Oh, and just when you were getting sick to your stomach with the ridiculous talent you find out they're humble as well. I don't know what the capacity is at MSG, but the boys seemed truly touched to hear the entire crowd singing along to "Use Somebody". They played a straight set with no intermission, but that wasn't enough for the fans. When the band walked off stage the crowd refused to leave. After what seemed like an eternity they came back out and finished the show like no other band could. Followill graciously thanked fans for being supportive through the years and "getting on their little websites" to spread the word. You're very welcome boys.
For those of you who haven't heard, KOL plays a phenomenal live show. It's a sweaty, grimy, soulful kind of rock concert. Caleb Followill's voice is far better live than on any record. It's one of those raw, gutteral voices that makes you feel the lyrics are truly genuine. (Did someone break your heart, sweet Caleb? I know many ways I can console you.) All of the Followill boys possess a talent we fans can only dream of. Oh, and just when you were getting sick to your stomach with the ridiculous talent you find out they're humble as well. I don't know what the capacity is at MSG, but the boys seemed truly touched to hear the entire crowd singing along to "Use Somebody". They played a straight set with no intermission, but that wasn't enough for the fans. When the band walked off stage the crowd refused to leave. After what seemed like an eternity they came back out and finished the show like no other band could. Followill graciously thanked fans for being supportive through the years and "getting on their little websites" to spread the word. You're very welcome boys.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
How 'bout a slice of humble pie?
So I've been on Match.com almost 2 weeks now. I hoped that by now I'd be swimming in a sea of eligible bachelors, but realistically I knew I'd have to weed through a bunch of tools. Here's the thing that I didn't actually think of: MAYBE SOME OF THESE GUYS WILL THINK I'M THE TOOL.
Let me back up a minute and explain the rules of match. Basically there are 2 ways to let someone know that you're interested in them. You can "wink" at them or you can email them. Or both. And you can see all the people that look at your profile, whether they choose to communicate with you or not. So almost 2 weeks in and I have recieved 31 winks and countless emails. Not to shabby, eh? Well... most of them have been idiots. Like when I say I'm only interested in people in my age range within a 20 mile radius of NYC and I get an email from a 45 year old in Ohio. So I've sent zero return winks and only responded to one email. I had no interest in the guy, but his message was funny so I felt compelled to let him know.
I don't think that I'm being overly-selective either. None of these guys really seem like the kind of person I'd like to get to know, romantically or otherwise. Plus I'm new to the whole online-dating thing, and I don't necessarily feel like rushing in to meeting some complete stranger in a strange place. Unfortunately I think that my Match Karma has come back to bite me in the ass. While scrolling through people's profiles (I'm still on a mission to revise my profile to make it sound more like me and less like a robot) I happened to stumble on an incredibly handsome and seemingly sweet man. Perfect age range and very geographically desirable. I totally panicked. "What do I do? Do I wink at him? That seems strange and stalkerish. But an email may be too forward". Before I knew what I was doing I winked at him. It felt strangely empowering. My first online flirtation. In my mind I already started to fast-forward to what kind of witty email I'd send when he wrote back. Then I started planning our first date, which would obviously be amazing. There would be no awkward moments, and maybe we'd spend late nights on the phone... and then who knows!
This all happened last night, so I was anxious to check my account today for his inevitable email. NO EMAIL. NO WINK.
Now follow my thought pattern through the rest of the day: "Well obviously he hasn't checked his email yet and realized I winked at him". Later this afternoon I scrolled through the people who've viewed my profile and there he was. "Wait a minute... so that means he did get my wink. And he chose not to write back to me. Holy crap. You mean people just go around ignoring a nice girl's winks? I realize that I ignored 31 winks, but how could this happen to me? Is my profile not compelling enough? Do I need more pictures?" You get my drift. Complete and utter rejection. I couldn't believe it. But that's karma for you. Maybe now I will be a little less snobbish and respond to some of these gentlemen's winks/emails. I'm still not gonna respond to creepy 40-yr olds, but maybe I'll try to be a little nicer.
Let me back up a minute and explain the rules of match. Basically there are 2 ways to let someone know that you're interested in them. You can "wink" at them or you can email them. Or both. And you can see all the people that look at your profile, whether they choose to communicate with you or not. So almost 2 weeks in and I have recieved 31 winks and countless emails. Not to shabby, eh? Well... most of them have been idiots. Like when I say I'm only interested in people in my age range within a 20 mile radius of NYC and I get an email from a 45 year old in Ohio. So I've sent zero return winks and only responded to one email. I had no interest in the guy, but his message was funny so I felt compelled to let him know.
I don't think that I'm being overly-selective either. None of these guys really seem like the kind of person I'd like to get to know, romantically or otherwise. Plus I'm new to the whole online-dating thing, and I don't necessarily feel like rushing in to meeting some complete stranger in a strange place. Unfortunately I think that my Match Karma has come back to bite me in the ass. While scrolling through people's profiles (I'm still on a mission to revise my profile to make it sound more like me and less like a robot) I happened to stumble on an incredibly handsome and seemingly sweet man. Perfect age range and very geographically desirable. I totally panicked. "What do I do? Do I wink at him? That seems strange and stalkerish. But an email may be too forward". Before I knew what I was doing I winked at him. It felt strangely empowering. My first online flirtation. In my mind I already started to fast-forward to what kind of witty email I'd send when he wrote back. Then I started planning our first date, which would obviously be amazing. There would be no awkward moments, and maybe we'd spend late nights on the phone... and then who knows!
This all happened last night, so I was anxious to check my account today for his inevitable email. NO EMAIL. NO WINK.
Now follow my thought pattern through the rest of the day: "Well obviously he hasn't checked his email yet and realized I winked at him". Later this afternoon I scrolled through the people who've viewed my profile and there he was. "Wait a minute... so that means he did get my wink. And he chose not to write back to me. Holy crap. You mean people just go around ignoring a nice girl's winks? I realize that I ignored 31 winks, but how could this happen to me? Is my profile not compelling enough? Do I need more pictures?" You get my drift. Complete and utter rejection. I couldn't believe it. But that's karma for you. Maybe now I will be a little less snobbish and respond to some of these gentlemen's winks/emails. I'm still not gonna respond to creepy 40-yr olds, but maybe I'll try to be a little nicer.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
My Match.com Experience
So in honor of a new year and a freshly-broken heart, I've decided to go on Match.com and, obviously, to blog about my experiences. I've always been a little wary of online dating sites/speed dating/that kind of thing, but since I haven't felt compelled to write about anything in the past 6 months I figured I'd give it a shot. I'm not knocking the online dating scene, I've just never had a problem meeting people due to my naturally bubbly nature. However, meeting people and actually making an effort to date are two different things. After having my heart broken I realized I have absolutely ZERO clue what I'm doing in the dating world. It's a world of game-playing that I'm definitely not used to (and I don't like any game that I don't win, thank you). I don't understand the concept of actually thinking before speaking. I figure this will be good practice. I'm going to write about EVERY SINGLE date I go on. Hilarity will certainly ensue.
I signed up for a 3-month subscription to the service on Friday and filled out my profile. The hardest part is filling out your profile. Believe it or not, I find it hard to talk about myself that way. Telling people what you're looking for in a mate is just strange. Especially when it's online for the world to see. Oh, and there's the fact that I have no clue what I want. That doesn't help. After several revisions, I still wasn't sure if my online suitors would know exactly how awesome I am. But for fear of going blind from staring at the computer for too long, I logged off and went away for the weekend.
Upon my return today I was rather pleased to see I had 4 emails and 10 virtual winks. Not a single one was cute, but it was still nice for the ego. I'm not alarmed at all because I have several friends who have met their boyfriends or husbands on Match, and they already warned me that you have to weed through the frogs to find the princes.
HERE GOES NOTHING!
I signed up for a 3-month subscription to the service on Friday and filled out my profile. The hardest part is filling out your profile. Believe it or not, I find it hard to talk about myself that way. Telling people what you're looking for in a mate is just strange. Especially when it's online for the world to see. Oh, and there's the fact that I have no clue what I want. That doesn't help. After several revisions, I still wasn't sure if my online suitors would know exactly how awesome I am. But for fear of going blind from staring at the computer for too long, I logged off and went away for the weekend.
Upon my return today I was rather pleased to see I had 4 emails and 10 virtual winks. Not a single one was cute, but it was still nice for the ego. I'm not alarmed at all because I have several friends who have met their boyfriends or husbands on Match, and they already warned me that you have to weed through the frogs to find the princes.
HERE GOES NOTHING!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Lollapalooza 2008
Here’s my official recap of Lollapalooza 2008:
Friday:
We get there and Chicago-friend tells Jen and I “here’s your key, come and go as you please”. Immediately he knew he would live to regret that, but I digress.
First stop at Lolla: beer tent. Beer dude tells me beers are only $5 so I order 6 of them. don’t judge me, it was for 3 people.
Go to raconteurs concert.
Grab 6 more beers.
Go to radiohead concert.
Radiohead blows, head back to beer tent.
4 more beers (we lost Chicago somewhere. Oh well, I have his key. Sucker)
Please keep in mind that there has been no eating thus far. And it's still oppressively hot outside, even at 10:00 pm.
Head back to condo. Chicago makes blackout drink. Jen and I do interpretive dance. I obtain some sort of floor burn.
Saturday:
I Feel like death. Make breakfast. Go to concerts. Discover some awesome new bands during the day, including InnerPartySystem. Look them up. Back to condo for power nap. Back to Lollapalooza.
Drinking begins.
Lupe fiasco was awesome.
I leave Jen to use bathroom/get beers. I wait on line for bathroom for what seems like eternity. I make friends with cute boys on line for the bathroom.
I make bathroom line into a competition. (For those of you who don't know already, I like to win every competition, no matter how stupid). You have 12 seconds or less to get out of the bathroom. New friends ask if I’m drunk. I was only on my first drink. Idiots. Bathroom relay begins.
No time to get to beer tent because Rage against the Machine is about to go on. Holy sh*t! I can’t find Jen.
Spend next 2 hours singing/dancing my butt off without Jen.
Concert ends, find Jen in one piece. Back to apartment to change into going-out clothes and grab a roadie.
Go to alleged “nice club” in Chicago. Walk in to “VIP” room. Um, it was a kitchen. Tell the entire staff that Chicago is a sub-par city and in NY the VIP areas are not relegated to the slop kitchen. Promptly leave club.
Walk up to bar where they’re “not letting people in because there is an MTV camera crew (lies)”. Tell bouncers in no uncertain terms that I would like to go inside and get my drink on. They let me in. Big mistake.
The rest of the night is a blur, but ended with me dancing like a mad-woman and getting locked out of friend’s apartment. Sleep in hallway until jen wakes up from her coma to let me in. probably slept a total of 2-3 hours.
Sunday:
Since jen slept in a bed, rather than a hallway, she’s all ready to go to Lolla. Want to kill myself.
Go to concert. Have fantasies about lead singer of Nine Inch Nails fathering my children. Seriously, that guy is hot AND a musical genius.
Monday:
Become very sad that my trip is over.
Friday:
We get there and Chicago-friend tells Jen and I “here’s your key, come and go as you please”. Immediately he knew he would live to regret that, but I digress.
First stop at Lolla: beer tent. Beer dude tells me beers are only $5 so I order 6 of them. don’t judge me, it was for 3 people.
Go to raconteurs concert.
Grab 6 more beers.
Go to radiohead concert.
Radiohead blows, head back to beer tent.
4 more beers (we lost Chicago somewhere. Oh well, I have his key. Sucker)
Please keep in mind that there has been no eating thus far. And it's still oppressively hot outside, even at 10:00 pm.
Head back to condo. Chicago makes blackout drink. Jen and I do interpretive dance. I obtain some sort of floor burn.
Saturday:
I Feel like death. Make breakfast. Go to concerts. Discover some awesome new bands during the day, including InnerPartySystem. Look them up. Back to condo for power nap. Back to Lollapalooza.
Drinking begins.
Lupe fiasco was awesome.
I leave Jen to use bathroom/get beers. I wait on line for bathroom for what seems like eternity. I make friends with cute boys on line for the bathroom.
I make bathroom line into a competition. (For those of you who don't know already, I like to win every competition, no matter how stupid). You have 12 seconds or less to get out of the bathroom. New friends ask if I’m drunk. I was only on my first drink. Idiots. Bathroom relay begins.
No time to get to beer tent because Rage against the Machine is about to go on. Holy sh*t! I can’t find Jen.
Spend next 2 hours singing/dancing my butt off without Jen.
Concert ends, find Jen in one piece. Back to apartment to change into going-out clothes and grab a roadie.
Go to alleged “nice club” in Chicago. Walk in to “VIP” room. Um, it was a kitchen. Tell the entire staff that Chicago is a sub-par city and in NY the VIP areas are not relegated to the slop kitchen. Promptly leave club.
Walk up to bar where they’re “not letting people in because there is an MTV camera crew (lies)”. Tell bouncers in no uncertain terms that I would like to go inside and get my drink on. They let me in. Big mistake.
The rest of the night is a blur, but ended with me dancing like a mad-woman and getting locked out of friend’s apartment. Sleep in hallway until jen wakes up from her coma to let me in. probably slept a total of 2-3 hours.
Sunday:
Since jen slept in a bed, rather than a hallway, she’s all ready to go to Lolla. Want to kill myself.
Go to concert. Have fantasies about lead singer of Nine Inch Nails fathering my children. Seriously, that guy is hot AND a musical genius.
Monday:
Become very sad that my trip is over.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
RIP Snitch
I just got the most devastating news. My favorite rock 'n roll bar in NYC is closing Saturday, May 3rd. In memory of Snitch, I wrote a little thank you letter that I'd like to share.
Dearest Snitch,
My heart is breaking that you're closing, but I'll never forget the memories we've shared. Remember our first time together? I let that guy Jon feel my boobs because I thought he was gay. Too bad he was just a raging pervert. And then that random girl we were with started puking at the bar. What a night!
I want to thank you for all the life lessons I have learned with you. Remember the first time I heard "crazy bitch" by buckcherry and loved it so much that it actually made me want to be a stripper? Then when "pour some sugar on me" came on I danced on the couches until the heel of my favorite black boots broke, and then realized that the exotic dance profession might not be for me. Thank you for teaching me...
Remember when my brother was home from L.A. for Christmas and I introduced him to you? We played air guitar all night and nobody judged us. You were always so accepting of me. Thank you for accepting my brother with open arms.
Most of all, thank you for accepting me in a t-shirt and chuck taylors. I've never felt more beautiful than when I was with you at 2 a.m. on a friday, bombed with makeup running down my face.
I will miss you, but I'll never forget you.
Love,
Lisa
Dearest Snitch,
My heart is breaking that you're closing, but I'll never forget the memories we've shared. Remember our first time together? I let that guy Jon feel my boobs because I thought he was gay. Too bad he was just a raging pervert. And then that random girl we were with started puking at the bar. What a night!
I want to thank you for all the life lessons I have learned with you. Remember the first time I heard "crazy bitch" by buckcherry and loved it so much that it actually made me want to be a stripper? Then when "pour some sugar on me" came on I danced on the couches until the heel of my favorite black boots broke, and then realized that the exotic dance profession might not be for me. Thank you for teaching me...
Remember when my brother was home from L.A. for Christmas and I introduced him to you? We played air guitar all night and nobody judged us. You were always so accepting of me. Thank you for accepting my brother with open arms.
Most of all, thank you for accepting me in a t-shirt and chuck taylors. I've never felt more beautiful than when I was with you at 2 a.m. on a friday, bombed with makeup running down my face.
I will miss you, but I'll never forget you.
Love,
Lisa
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